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14 October 2009 @ 02:16 am
Title: The Contradiction of "Sorry, I Love You" [Chapter 10/?]  

Title: The Contradiction of "Sorry, I Love You"

Pairings: Eventual pairings. I won't say. :)) *it's quite obvious*

Rating: R

Warning: English is not my first language. Un-BETAed

Summary: Kyuhyun goes to a boy’s school and he doesn't like everyone. He knows his good in whatever he does and thinks life is boring. But when his life starts to change in ways he couldn't imagine, he finally realizes that he has much more things to learn.


Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5 Part a
Chapter 5 Part b
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8 Part a
Chapter 8 Part b
Chapter 8 Part c
Chapter 9

Chapter 10



I’m sorry that I love you.


I’m sorry that I let this feeling get between us.

We’re supposed to be friends. No, even better we should be brothers.


I’m sorry I have this for you.


I’m just sorry that I love you.


I don’t regret my time with you.

I don’t regret loving you.

I just regret letting this feeling get in between us.


Kyuhyun grimaced crumpling the paper he was writing in. What the hell. He was never sappy. Sarcastic and snappy; yes. Sappy? No way.


But he was positive that it was what he felt as he wrote it. Maybe it didn’t matter to Sungmin what he felt. Maybe it didn’t matter what was his explanation to his actions but Kyuhyun felt the need to tell him. He couldn’t just keep it to himself anymore.



Every day he watched Sungmin with the people he was sure familiar with. Occasionally, they would send empathetic glances like they knew but they had no idea.


Sungmin sure never approached him. If he cared, he would be here now right?



But it was Kyuhyun’s fault right?


It was that morning where Kyuhyun had finally picked up all his guts to start jogging again. After making that annoying distance between him and Sungmin, he has not once gone anywhere near the routine he and Sungmin lead.


No walking to the Third year block. No walking up to the old music room. No glancing at the middle table. No early morning jogs.


But his boxing activities had finally resumed after an exam break. And he was in desperate need of a stamina boost up. And damn all the extra classes he has, the only free time he has is early in the mornings.



Be a man. Be professional. He keeps the chant stuck in his head as he walks out of his room and walks down a really nostalgic route. When he starts the jog, the spot is empty. He wasn’t sure if he was disappointed or relieved. Is it possible to feel both at the same time?


Nothing appears on the spot where he had spent so many mornings with Sungmin. To everyone else including Sungmin, it might not mean anything. They just talked, making jokes about themselves. To everybody else it might not mean anything. But to Kyuhyun every second of it matters.


Kyuhyun winces at the thought. It only mattered to him.


And the last time Kyuhyun glances at the spot. Nobody sat there. And for the first time, Kyuhyun goes straight back to his room, realizing it was a waste to even hope that he’ll be there.




It wasn’t like Kyuhyun cares. But still his staring at the man that has thought him so much. He’s lips were bleeding and Kyuhyun felt his whole body glistening with sweat.


“You’re weaker than the first time you got here,” he snickers. “That’s really weak,”

Anger flares in Kyuhyun’s heart as he picks up himself of the floor. He was thinking too much and every time he reached for the torturous man in front of him he fails.


His head is pounding in his ears when the coach telling them for a five minute break. He watched his opponent back down, smirking victoriously.  Dammit! Kyuhyun wipes the small amount of blood on his lips. He just couldn’t accept losing.


“Let’s just get this done with,” Kyuhyun says, anger burning so wildly in his heart he could feel the heat coming out of his ears. The opponent chuckles lightly as he joins Kyuhyun in the ring.


Kyuhyun launches himself towards him. But the devil, avoids him. He laughs. “You’re going nowhere if you’re using your anger to fight me.” Kyuhyun groans at him.


The only thing that he felt now was anger. Why is he avoiding Sungmin? Why did he back out on the confession? Why didn’t Sungmin approach him? Why was Sungmin there this morning?


How can I not be angry?


He aims for the devils stomach but he ends up on the ground with the devil smirking even wider. “See, i told you anger is going to get you nowhere.”


The devil hands his hand for Kyuhyun to get up but Kyuhyun only stares at it; feeling defeated. “If you’re ever going to get in the finals in the coming match, you better pick up the pieces of whatever you’re going through,”


The devil tucks his hand back in with an absentmindedly shrug. Then, Kyuhyun just hears the sound of the devil leaving the court not even looking back at the coach shouting at him.





After a quick shower he heads out the door; the devil’s word stuck in his head. The sun was setting and Kyuhyun was the only one there.


But then he hears footsteps behind him and he was sure it was the devil; ready to pounce in him for being such a fool; for still being mad at Sungmin.


“Eunhyuk?” He turns to see Eunhyuk smiling sheepishly at him. “Kyuhyun, I’ve been looking for you the whole day,” He says cheerily.


This is a rare occasion. “I want to show you something” Eunhyuk pushes Kyuhyun by the shoulders all the way up the stair to what Kyuhyun is familiar to as the 2nd year block. Eunhyuk kept humming Kyuhyun was pretty sure he was familiar with.


But the sounds of Eunhyuk’s humming sounded even more real. It sounded as though someone was playing a piano with his humming. Eunhyuk stops in the middle of the hallway at the 3rd floor. “Do you hear that?” Eunhyuk whispers.


Kyuhyun hears a faint piano playing.  Oh, it wasn’t my imagination. There really is someone playing the piano. Now where have i heard this song before?


“Yeah. Why are....” Eunhyuk immediately closes Kyuhyun’s mouth with his hand. He puts his index finger on his lips telling Kyuhyun to keep it quiet. “It’s coming from in there.” He point to the last door the the very end of the corridor. “The art room has a rusty piano but he played it quite well” Eunhyuk then waves at Kyuhyun after he pushes Kyuhyun towards the door.


Kyuhyun ignores the urge of running after Eunhyuk for pushing him around but the song had restarted and Kyuhyun minds just clicks. He was sure he knew where exactly this song came from.


The door was ajar and Kyuhyun could see exactly who was playing the song.  No wonder the song sounds so familiar.


And Kyuhyun plans to just watch from far; the way his hands softly create the perfect melody. Kyuhyun knows the whole song by heart because he had spend so much time listening to it. The song tat belonged to Sungmin. The one that Sungmin made by himself. The exact on that Kyuhyun was force to listen to, the very first day they went to that music room together.


Get a grip. It sounded like the devil was whispering at him.


The music suddenly stops and sobs makes Kyuhyun realize that Sungmin was crying while he was playing. Sungmin’s cries became louder, one hand clutching his chest the other holding on the edge of the piano.


Kyuhyun simply stared; almost unsure of what there was to do. But then Sungmin’s sobs softens though Kyuhyun could see tears streaming down his cheeks. “Don’t tell me your still crying because of the same guy,” it slips out before Kyuhyun can do anything about it.


Sungmin finally realizes the very presence of Kyuhyun who is now looking straight at Sungmin with an unreadable expression. “If you are, I’ll be rather disappointed.” Kyuhyun approaches Sungmin – taking the empty seat next to Sungmin.


Sungmin shakes his head in denial – almost like a little child making Kyuhyun raise an eyebrow. “There’s no way i can play this song in front of everybody in the recital.”


Kyuhyun laughs inwardly. Silly hyung. “Of course you can. What are you talking about?”


Sungmin stares at Kyuhyun almost like Kyuhyun just told him where babies are from. “What makes you so sure?” Sungmin questions. Tears have stop streaming down his now red face.


“Because I’ll be there to support you. There’s no way anything would go wrong,” Kyuhyun laughs at it like it’s a joke.


“Don’t worry, hyung.” Kyuhyun looks straight at those watery eyes “I’ve got your back”


And just like that, Kyuhyun puts aside all his true feelings.

Current Location: exam hall
I'm feeling: draineddrained
Listening to: Blue Tomorrow - Super Junior M
Meiraxkeirafanx on October 13th, 2009 07:18 pm (UTC)
you're nice,but if you're not soon go for it I'll make you...
Funsucker-Yimsungminnie012 on October 13th, 2009 08:44 pm (UTC)
WAHHH~ I'm Sorry I Love You!!!!
:DDD i caught on~ keke
gash kyu. be an agressive man and mash your lips together or something! XDDD
Song Hee Raonetruemei on October 14th, 2009 03:14 pm (UTC)
Song Hee Raonetruemei on October 14th, 2009 03:23 pm (UTC)
argh!!! Kyuhyun is killing me already!! >.<
Why can't he just say it!!! O_________O
life_not_knifelife_not_knife on October 14th, 2009 10:38 pm (UTC)
yey an update! awh! Kyu can't you spill your feelings already ahhhhh silly boy........awsome update thank you xxxxxxx
yukiatsu.: [Jonghun♥]iheartsungmin on October 16th, 2009 01:16 am (UTC)
KyuHyun really needs to tell SungMin his feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like he's waited a loooooooong time ._.
oh well *shrug* whenever you're ready, Kyu, fighting! ^^
Jacque ♥jacquejacque on October 16th, 2009 08:11 am (UTC)
say it kyu.. SAY IT! :>

thanks for the lovely chap! can't wait for the next one! :D
KaNGaRooBBkangaroobb on December 20th, 2009 05:20 am (UTC)
so sad...
and touching ... T_____T
im sobbing too T____T
joking > <
but the tears just came out by itself >